Third Culture Kids
“A traditional third culture kid (TCK) is a person who spends a significant part of his or her first eighteen years of life accompanying parent(s) into a country that is different from at least one parent’s passport country(ies) due to a parent’s choice of work or advanced training.”
“A cross-cultural kid (CCK) is a person who is living /has lived in, or meaningfully interacted with, two or more cultural environments for a significant period of time during the first eighteen years of life.”
The TCK Profile
“The often paradoxical benefits and challenges of the TCK Profile are sometimes described as being like opposite sides of the same coin, but in reality they are more like contrasting colored strands of thread woven together into a tapestry. As each strand crosses with a contrasting or complementary color, a picture begins to emerge, but no one strand alone tells the full story... Some of the characteristics- as well as the benefits and challenges- are primarily a result of the cross-cultural nature of the third culture experience. Others are more directly shaped by the high mobility of the lifestyle. Most of the profile, however, is the weaving together of these two dominant realities.”
While not comprehensive, below is a short description of a few challenges generally experienced in the life of a third culture kid. For more information and in-depth look into the benefits and challenges TCKs may face, check out Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds and Raising Up A Generation of Healthy Third Culture Kids.
(Adapted from Expat Child)
Identity
“Who am I?”
Children’s identity is formed by family, community, and place. These act as the stabilizing forces that ‘anchor’ a child and provide safety for a child to learn about themselves and the world. They function as ‘mirrors’, reflecting back to the child how they are seen by the world around them. When these anchors and mirrors are consistent, they provide stability for a child to answer “Who am I?”. But when a child moves, especially with cross-cultural moves, one or potentially all the anchors and mirrors change and the rules of life change with them. “The anchors no longer feel secure and mirrors may reflect totally different images of who the child is.” (p. 119). “When anchors and mirrors are constantly changing and the dynamics of life are in flux, it is harder to keep a steady definition answering the question “Who am I?” (p. 126). Because of this many TCKs can face difficulty with knowing who they are and also where they belong.
(Pollock, Van Reken, Pollock, 2017)
Relationships
TCKs commonly experience having a wealth of friends from different places and cultures, often having friendships that are scattered all across the world. At the same time, TCKs are faced with a stream of changing relationships as they move or others move. The sheer number of relational losses TCKs face in their adolescent years is great. While not true for all TCKs, these consistent losses can instill a difficulty in creating new, deep attachments with each move, and even result in TCKs being closed off to new friendships in order to protect themselves from future losses.
High mobility, regardless of if a child is the ‘leaver’ or ‘stayer’, can prevent TCKs from having friendships in close proximity to them for more than a few years. This cycle of community change can create an internal clock where TCKs may feel like relationships have run their course and it is time to move on to new friends.
(Wells, 2020)
Shame
TCKs are often referred to as ‘cultural chameleons’, with the ability to adapt to the environment around them. As TCKs learn new cultures and contexts they grow a skill of being able to adapt and ‘fit in’ to many different situations, scanning to see what are the ‘right’ things to do and say in different situations. This can become a survival skill of wearing a ‘mask’ in order to fit in, which can even cover “a self that is unsure of who they are, where they fit…” (Wells, 2020, p. 193). This mask serves as a protection to hide the shame and fear of missteps, however it ultimately can prevent TCKs from deep and intimate connections with others.
(Wells, 2020)
Restlessness and Rootlessness
“Where are you from?” /“Where is home?”
Because of mobility, the ‘anchor’ of place changes for TCKs and many do not have a permanent place that they are tied to and provides belonging. For many people who have not been highly mobile experience the answers to “Where are you from?” and “Where is home?” as the same. But for TCKs “Where are you from?” has a range of answers, while “Where is home?” is often answered by where close relationships are.
When there is not a specific place that anchors a TCK and when community is constantly changing, TCKs can feel rootless.
When TCKs experience moving with regularity in their childhood, they might also feel restless as they enter into adulthood, adopting a “migratory instinct” that can drive them to consistently be on the move.
(Pollock, Van Reken, Pollock, 2017)
Unresolved Grief
Grief due to consistent losses is a large part of the TCK life. Find more information on transitions and grief here.
Risks and Prevention
The Challenges
In her book, Raising Up a Generation of Healthy Third Culture Kids, Lauren Wells focuses largely on the idea of preventive care for TCKs in order to decrease the risks and increase the benefits of a globally mobile life. There are many challenges that come with a globally mobile life, many of which cannot be prevented, however they can be managed. For more details on specific risks for TCKs, read Chapter 1 of the book or the white papers down below. In the book, Lauren describes two main challenges that impact the wellbeing of a TCK as they enter into adulthood: Adverse Childhood Experiences and toxic stress.
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Adverse Childhood Experiences are potentially traumatic events that occur in a child’s life before the age of 18. These experiences increase the risk for adverse outcomes in the wellbeing and health of children as they enter into adulthood. Negative and long-term effects of ACEs can include disrupted brain development, chronic physical illnesses, mental illness, substance abuse, and socioeconomic challenges. Research shows that when children experience 4 or more ACEs, they are “‘twice as likely to have heart disease and cancer, seven times more likely to be addicted to alcohol and 12 times more likely to attempt suicide’” compared to those with zero ACE scores (Wells, 2020). TCKs, and specifically MKs, experience high location and house mobility, which increases the likelihood of higher ACE scores (TCK Training).
Toxic Stress
Toxic stress occurs often for globally mobile families. “Because it is during their formative years that TCKs are transitioning between cultures and living cross-culturally, they are susceptible to experiencing extreme stress, and because their parents are often also experiencing intense stress, they may not offer the ‘buffering protection’ that they perhaps would in a more settled life” (Wells, 2020, p. 17). Toxic stress puts individuals at risk for severe health conditions, infections, and premature death.
While the above is true, it’s not the end of the story! Positive Children Experiences are a key factor in preventing the negative long term effects that high ACEs and toxic stress can bring. In Lauren Well’s book, she lays out what healthy TCKs look like and uses the acronym CARE (Conversations, Awareness, Relationship, and Example) to describe how parents can set their children up for success in the midst of challenges (Wells, 2020).
The Hope
Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs)
The foundation of Positive Childhood Experiences is safe and nurturing relationships and environments. Studies have shown that when PCEs are present, they are proven to counteract and buffer the challenging experiences in life, and even build resiliency in the midst of challenges. Even when ACEs are present, when a child has 6-7 PCEs, their rate of mental illness lowers by 72% (American SPCC). Some of the ways that PCEs can be incorporated into a family’s life is through play and establishing nurturing and predictable environments (American SPCC).
For more information regarding ACEs and PCEs, check out these following resources:
PCEs mini-series - TCK Training
Safe Space mini-series - TCK Training
Raising Up a Generation of Healthy TCKs- Lauren Wells
What Are ACEs? - Center on the Developing Child Harvard University
Positive Childhood Experiences - American SPCC
Caution and Hope for MKs - TCK Training
Mitigating Risk Factors for MKs - TCK Training
Understanding Emotional Abuse and Neglect as a Parent - TCK Training
Additional Resources
Caring for TCKs When You’re Not the Parents- TCK Training. Handout
The Brain of a TCK- TCK Training
Holistic Health for TCKs- TCK Training
Feelings Matter: TCKs and Emotional Intelligence - Olive Tree Counseling
Workshops
Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Global Documentary -Mont'Kiara International School
So Where Is Home? A Film about Third Culture Kid Identity - Adrian Bautista
TCKs Talk Goodbyes - Ali Jackson
TCKs Talk Home and Belonging -Ali Jackson
Gratitude and Challenges of TCKs - Ali Jackson
Videos
The Wonderful and Unusual Life of a TCK - See Beyond
Articles
Raising a Bilingual/Multilingual Child- Workshop by The Montessori Notebook
Language Learning
The following links are white papers published by TCK Training. Each are long, but give in depth information for research done with TCKs and globally mobile families.
